Friday, October 16, 2009

The Color of Crack is Quite Scary

Well, I'm finally ready to share a brief summary of my learnings around the color of ass crack. And thanks to my curious children, I'm prepared to dish up some great conversation with strangers at holiday parties this year.

Here's what I found in a nutshell:

1. You can't google "Why are Ass Cracks Pink?" without getting some really nasty search results. Most of the pics I dared to open were things I wouldn't even WANT to share with you. And most of you probably know, I'm usually willing to share quite a bit.

2. There are people who actually post questions on butt crack colors on Medical Websites. And worse off, there are more than too many people that have hairy butt cracks, growths on butt cracks, or bleeding/chaffed butt cracks, who in my opinion are desperately in need of help.

3. There is a drink called "Sand in your Butt Crack". It includes melon liquor, Jack Daniels and pineapple juice I think. I watched a video on it thinking I could at least share SOMETHING valuable in this post, but the drink looked as if it would literally taste like ass crack.

So for now, I lay my search to rest. The curious kid who posed the innocent question around butt crack color a few weeks ago has already moved on to her next fascination in everyday life anyway, which entails picking her eyelashes. And unfortunately every google search on this one points to needing a therapist.

Like mother, like daughter.

8 comments:

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

*sigh* I guess I'll have to continue through life wondering WHY. In the meantime, you're going to have so many freaks finding your site now that you've discussed butt cracks again.

dadshouse said...

You might get invited to more parties if you DON'T talk about butt cracks colors. Lol.

Then again, maybe I'm way off here. Maybe I'm the one who should add butt crack color facts to my party repertoire.

Funny post.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Haha. Never thought of color when it came to crack before...

Erin said...

And I was so hoping to get some really profound! Ahh well at least you'll have some great stories to tell us after Holiday parties!

ModernMom said...

Google is a scary tool!
And seriously that drink sounds disgusting!

The pale observer said...

I agree there are certain things you cannot type into google without some seriously nasty search results. And if you click 'images' it's even worse.

I guess butt cracks are one of those mysteries of the universe we'll just have to live with! LOL.

Excellent blog you've got here!

Cheers - new reader,
Holli in Ghana

Travis Erwin said...

My boys once wanted to know why animals only had butt holes and not butt cracks.

And yes, I blogged about it.

Swirl Girl said...

I prefer white crack, it melts better in the pipe. What's that? Ooooh , the other crack.

Never mind.