Narcissistic Ex-Wife Self Help Book - Any takers?

I think a bunch of us need to get together and write a self-help book for other women married to a man who has a narcissistic ex-wife.

Are you in?

I can't begin to tell you the number of comments I get regularly on a few of my posts dealing with my husband's ex-wife. For the record, it was not ME that defined her as a narcissist, however I HAVE created her new reference name of MS. NARCISSIST from here on out. It was my therapist of years, who also started working with my husband as well, who made us write down a specific title of a book dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. We started it, and didn't put it down until the end. It.Was.Our.Life. The next therapy session I cried. I was told that it will never go away.

They usually say the first biggest achievement in tackling life's challenges is identifying what the root cause of a problem is and becoming self-aware of it. However for me, it has only made things worse. Reason being, there is no solution or fixing someone else's behavior when it comes to narcissism - unless you can walk away and remove that person from your life. And this is the biggest solution in any book you pick up on "How to deal with a narcissist". But of course, in our case, this is not possible.

I recently got a "hate comment" regarding one of my posts naming ME as the obvious narcissist. I actually thought about it quite a bit. But truth is, I don't think that's the case. My therapist said I am simply allowing her to pull me into the competition around things I would normally NEVER CARE ABOUT. So that is what I work on - my reactions and the things only I can control.

There comes a point when you just get tired of it all. I think that's where I am right now with all the underlying BS. I will never tire of being a step-mom though. Nope. I will never get tired of that.

The Role of being a "Step-Mom" seems to be empty these days...

I'm 4+ years into being a step-mom, and still don't understand my role. Does anyone have any advice? Here are my thoughts lately:

• I'm a babysitter when convenient to the schedule set out. However, my role as a babysitter can obviously change in the drop of a hat if "real mom" decides she'd rather have them last minute. NOT FAIR.


• I'm a disciplinarian. But no one hears me. NOT FAIR.


• I'm a silent partner. Even when I see my husband trying his best, I can not verbally support him. NOT FAIR.

Someone put me in my place. Quickly.

These are the things that make me miss my kids EVEN MORE while they are away this week on vacation with their Dad:

You have to appreciate a newly 9-year-old's "attempt" at making better eating choices - even thought she's absolutely perfect!

Syd and Sam: I hope you are eating ice-cream like 2 bats-out-of-hell this week at the beach. There is nothing better than sun, swimming and ice-cream every night on the boardwalk!

Missing you both desperately,

Mom xoxo

I don't know how, but I came across the following picture on the internet this morning and I can't stop staring at it thinking WTF????

After hours of contemplating, I've decided it resembles one of my adorable daughters, morphed with my babysitter's french bulldog and my husband after days of not shaving.

I have lost my mind. And I have also decided I need to get a hobby.

The BEST Strategy in Dealing with a Narcissist

bound·a·ry (bound-r, -dr)
n. pl. bound·a·ries

1. Something that indicates a border or limit.
2. The border or limit so indicated

Definition: The emotional and physical space that we place between ourselves and others. Setting proper boundaries is important to our mental health. When appropriate boundaries are not set, we run the risk of becoming either too detached from or too dependent upon others.

June 7, 2011:
The boundaries have been communicated. And while too many other things were attempted to be discussed, it matters none, because we have set our boundaries and we heard our own words spoken out loud.