Sex Education and the Questions That Follow

Sex-Education tips from a Mom who doesn't hold  back:

1. Be prepared to be placed into the "Totally Disgusting" category.  Yep, that's where I landed since my youngest child finally correlated "having a baby" to actually "having had to have sex".  I think I can play this one out to my advantage for a few years.  Sex = Disgusting.  Perfect.

2. Don't compare "sperm" to "fish".  Because after stewing over the conversation for some time, my step-son still can't understand how an actual "fish" could fit into a woman's vagina and swim through her body and stay alive.  I think I'm going to try "squirt gun" next time.

3.  Forget the line about how you promise not to "laugh" or "make fun of them" for ever coming to you with a question.  The whole point of this is to have them trust you, right?  Just abandon this at all costs. Because IMMEDIATELY after you promise not to laugh, you're going to be faced with the dumbest sex question E-V-E-R.  And you're just going to burst out laughing at them.  In their face.  Yep, full LOL.  And they will never come to you again, so save your energy up for the time when they realize Sex does not = Disgusting anymore.