Thursday, June 4, 2009

Jealousy, Sex and the 70 Year Old Owner of our Future House

So, I was going through my husband's jeans last night...
[not a normal habit I would like to protest... I was simply looking for a few spare dollars to donate to a door-knocking-neighborhood-teen-scoundrel raising money for some God forsaken sports trip...],
...and this is what I find in his back pocket:






WTF?
Um, for those of you that don't know
me or my two blonde daughters,
THOSE BITCHES AIN'T US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




So I ask you...
Is it a picture of:


A) Illegitimate children he so shamefully neglected to speak of these past several years?;


2) The woman I in a matter of 2.4 seconds flat decided he might be having an affair with, and her two daughters who so strangely are both blonde and oddly resemble my own two girls in age?;


3) The daughter and grandchildren of the 70 Year Old woman who currently owns the house we are purchasing, who happened to leave her house key for my husband yesterday in order for us to be present for the full-day inspection going on.


Women are asses. But the funniest shit is, he was actually flattered by my expressed jealousy.

So readers, jealousy can be a good thing, if it every-so-often presents itself in small doses.  
And so is the sex that follows.  


14 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Whoever it is she's hot.

So who is it?

Blonde Goddess said...

I'm guessing the correct answer is #3 or you'd be in jail right now for manslaughter and unable to blog.

Cant Hardly Wait said...

I choose option D) Your husband stole the leather-looking change purse because he thought you wanted it for your birthday. Because hey, it's even got a heart shaped picture hole.

moooooog35 said...

I go for 'A' and '2.'

Yes...you mixed alphabet and numbers.

#3 is just not exciting enough for a Friday.

Susan said...

Oh man, moooog35 caught it - I mixed numbers and letters in my multiple choice????

What an ass I am. Told ya!

ModernMom said...

Oh Geez. I would have done the exact same thing. I mean, seriously ...who lends a house key with pictures attached right? Oh yeah, little old ladies do. :)

Swirl Girl said...

it looks more like the 'fake family photo' that comes with little key chain/wallets from the Brighton store.

but jealousy leading to satisfying sex is a much better answer!!

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

I thought it was a standard picture that comes in frames. I have 2 of those up on my wall in a room I never go in. People make fun of me all of the time.

In my defense, they USED to have pictures, but I had to burn the pictures...and just left the smiling faces up.

Chris @ Maugeritaville said...

Your husband must be a really cool guy for not stringing your jealous self along for a couple days.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

My guess was the models that come with the wallet thing when you buy it at the store... and then I was like... why would he have a heart on his wallet? Lame!

But your story is WAY better!

Schmoochiepoo said...

Well whoever they are, they are lovley looking people LOL!

Stacie's Madness said...

SHUT UP, i want to have jealousy sex.

Katie said...

I feel bad for the girl in the bottom left. Her face is cut off by the heart. Someone didn't like Grammy's cookies...

Karen said...

OMG...my husband loves when I get jealous. And mad. It turns him on. He's weird.