Monday, April 20, 2009

Grossest Thing My Husband Has Ever Said... Warning: Taint Involved

I think I've mentioned before how my husband takes pride in his manscaping abilities - and actually I believe it was the topic of his first guest post a month or so back. Remember, the quick mention of "manscaping" and "pubes" that brought Blogger Stalker Ronald10021 out of the word works, and caused me to go into hiding for some time? But anyway, back to my man's pride around caring for his Netherland Region - it's rather quite rewarding, and something I have grown to appreciate.

Especially after yesterday.

Once a week, after hitting the gym together to train for a lethal hour of hell, we'll hit a tanning bed for 20 minutes of silence. We could hardly give a shit about getting a tan. But the additional 20 minutes of peace is totally worth the extra $10 in babysitting fees.

Yesterday, I think I heard the nastiest thing my husband's ever said to me as we were finished and walking out to our car:

Husband [Very Serious Tone] : "Damn, I turned the fan on, laid down and almost puked because the smell of my sweaty-ass Taint blew straight up to my face and in my mouth."



Silence.



BURST OUT UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER...

Baby, let's make a pit stop:





Seriously Baby, aside from your old high school "stink finger" stories, I think this takes the cake.


'Taint kiddin'.




17 comments:

moooooog35 said...

Why did you capitalize 'taint?' Is it it's formal name (i.e., 'Mr. Taintopolous') or does it hold high office on your husband's in-between-meat Congress?

Susan said...

Taint deserves respect my friend Mooooooooog35. Especially when it's Prime.

The Girl Next Door said...

HA My Ex always led me to belieeve only women (and especially me) had taint.

Trying hard not to snort on conference call....

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I prefer the term "grundle", myself. Just because it sounds so much more filthy and funny.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth...and tried to laugh at the same time...COMPLETELY unexpected! lol!

Dr Zibbs said...

Hahahahahha1!!

That had me laughing out loud.

And what grooming tools does he use?

Ronald10021 said...

Can I apologize again for anything I said or did in cyberspace to offend you?......

Katie said...

God, that's awful. Nothing worse than a case of musty nuts.

Carla said...

I don't know what I find funnier: The taint or the fact that Mark goes tanning...gay!!

ModernMom said...

LOL Too Funny!!

wendy said...

whoops, that had me giggling --When we get sweaty ass we call it "swass" yup, everyone gets swass every now and then

Erin said...

OMG That made me laugh so hard that I think I woke one of the kids up....I definitely needed that!!

Rachel said...

Despite your warning, I was intrigued. And then immediatly in tears of laughter.

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

I'm grossed out in the funniest way possible!

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