Are my kids normal?
How come every time we walk through the local Blockbuster Video Store and view the New Release wall my children can not help but point out [and announce to the entire store] the DVD cover details of anything with boobs, butt cracks, cleavage or naked bodies ... I can not convey the hysterical laughter these covers bring to my children. And I can not convey the challenge of getting them to stop.
Why in God's name during the only one desperate time we needed to stop for a favorite bottle of red wine on our way home with the kids did there have to be a vendor display for them to gravitate towards front and center.. and even worse, WHY at a time when my 8 year old daughter felt so compelled to read signs for the rest of the gang, which at this moment caused her to ask my husband, myself and the 2 male cashiers no more than 22 years old, "Mom, What does SUCK and BLOW mean?"... Oh.My.God.
Why does our newly turned "5" year old son do body contortions of such unbelievable magnitude while buckled in the back seat on the way home from school to such a degree that I believe he would be classified as an advanced yoga or pilates instructor? I'm really serious. What the HELL is this?
Why is my 6 year old daughter so addicted to hoarding the TV remote control to the point of waking up EVERY morning in a panic race to beat her sister to the couch in order to posses it first and will take it into the bathroom with her if hiding it under the pillows does not allow her to feel 110% confident it will still be there on her return?