Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Truth: I Am A Blog Snob. I'm so sorry.

I am admitting a major fault today, with the possibility of sounding like a ruthless bitch.


I have spent the last several HOURS searching sites to introduce myself to new blogger friends..."stalking others" within this black hole of cyberspace, as people so openly call it. However, I have realized that even within this somewhat anonymous blogging world, I am very, very picky.

Maybe I should call it "being truthful" or "keeping it real". However, there are so many blogs out there that make me "yawn" or even "cringe in my seat" as they repeatedly rant about how wonderful and beautiful their kids are, and let's see, what else... share shopping deals, homemade baby food tips and holiday cooking recipes.

NOW, PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG... all of this is great when it comes in small doses... I would NEVER claim to be BETTER than someone else at blog content, but from those I ran across this morning, I might say mine is "different" [and probably more trashy/real/honest in a self-therapy kind of way]. I've certainly had my own share of writer's block, and have had to resort to such morbid and boring topics such as molesting massage experiences, how I suck as the tooth fairy, and outright bitching sessions around my husband's ex-wife and her narcissistic ways... but when the Joy of Cooking 8-Course Meals is someones sole content, I immediately shut down and wither away, like the Wicked Witch of the West... my internal sole just melts to smithereens and I feel the need to chant out words like "FUCK" and "SHIT" for no reason while running to the kitchen to sip wine or vodka.

I guess that in reality, this whole blogging thing was initiated around the joy of writing trashy humor and to allow my husband and I to laugh at ourselves regularly. I love to pick out the imperfections in our lives... and I love to swear. And of course, I love my red wine. But I actually can't tell you the number of blogs I clicked on just this morning that quoted scripture or life lessons or just rolls of family pictures that cited over and over how beautiful and perfect their kids of all ages were. My anxiety has doubled with it, while realizing that people like this would undoubtedly be insulted by a comment from someone who writes about how putting a potato up your vagina can actually hold your uterus in place. Or maybe they would feel sorry for me and offer a well needed prayer.

So today I would honestly like to say to all my readers in this hour of honesty and truthfulness, if I comment and click on you regularly, it means you have made me literally laugh my ass off on more than one occasion. And that's what I need from this blogging world, with all the other bullshit going on in my life.

So to all you readers who may come across this post, THANK YOU.


Vodka Mom said...

From one ruthless bitch to another, great post.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

I'm the same way...I can only look at so many pictures of cute kids and read about recipes that are more complicated that my staple meal of cereal before I click out.

That's what I love about you blog... you write about basic topics with hilarous twists. :)

Dorsey said...

Ok, so how much are dues? Because I think I'm a member of the same club. hehe good job gal for keeping it real! I agree that all too often it can get boring, but I enjoy giggling to myself and having to explain my fits of laughter to my hubby.

Nicole said...

I initially wasn't going to comment on your blog post, but something about your post just didn't sit right with me. You're right, you are a blog snob...

I was semi-put-off when I read your blog post--as I am a mom with a blog about my kids and food tips and all the BS of daily life... Why do I blather about such humdrum fluff? I'm just not very funny... That doesn't mean that I can't cuss or stick a potato up my vagina if I don't want to.

I personally blog because I'm in a suck-ass situation after leaving my career and friends to move with my husband to the effin' desert after he took a job-transfer, so to make the best of it, I'm finding something creative to do with my time and slowly meeting new friends in a new city and around the blogosphere--thank God my regular commenters have not been as judgmental--or likely I'd have no readers.

As I see it, we're all doing the best that we can at any given point in time. And though I too cringe at some of the blog content that I read--including my own sometimes, I also allow for the idea that people just want to be listened to--that's why I'm reading their blogs and responding back to them. It might not be hilarity at every turn--for that, I just look to my daily life :)

I'm personally not interested in blogs that cut down other people to get a laugh, just as you don't enjoy Suzy-homemaker style blogs--so what's really my beef today?

I'm outta damn coffee.

Tiffany said...

Saw your comment on SITS.

Click on people through roll call. All those comments link to a blog.

As far as blog content, you will need to take the time to read through a couple posts... not everyone has gold everyday.

On my blog, I listed my best posts on the side, so while right now a family post someone can read from my favorites.

You won't find a lot of cussing on most "mommy blogs". Doesn't mean people aren't edgy or funny, just means, they want to keep their audience as broad as possible.

Have you checked out:

Have fun roaming bloggyland.

Susan said...

Dear Nicole [commentor above who I so obviously offended]: While I do not believe I have yet to visit your personal blog, I am on my way as soon as I finish typing. You can not be as hum drum as you make yourself out to be when you rip my ass to shreds like that while admitting to swearing and having the ability to actually stick a potato up your own vagina. You have a new follower! (And PS, I hope you understand my intention is not to ever offend other individuals out right in my blog...I truely am not expecting new people to suddenly read it!). smile...

Nicole said...

Hi Susan,

I wasn't totally offended--just slightly ;) Thanks for stopping by my blog--I'm sure I thoroughly bored you for the day...

Thanks for your work with Breast Cancer--I am a 2 time cancer survivor, so I have a vested interest.

I too enjoy blogs-with-a-laugh-included; I have to admit, you did get a giggle out of me... Who'd a thunk it:
potatoes + vagina = humor

I'm going out for a Starbucks--that should help this ass-whippin' mama! Take care!

libby said...

Life is too short to read shitty blog posts. And I have to tell you, that doesn't offend me in the least. It's why I don't write a blog and only keep up with you.

So Amen to you, sister! Keep on writing about all your stuff - cause the 6 of us who read your blog regularly are laughing our asses off.

Katie said...

Thank God for you.

Dave Q. said...

You've described some pretty lame blogs. Maybe my attitude on those will change the day I get married, have kids, etc., but for now, that is the last thing I want to read about.

If I stumble upon a blog, I am going to become an instant fan if it makes me laugh. Or if the blogger and I share similar interests. So seeing as how I don't have kids, can't cook, and have no vagina to insert a potato into, I will keep on avoiding those blogs.

So if you're a snob, I guess I am too. But, in all seriousness, I truly am a snob. Or at least I've been told I'm pretty arrogant. I have no reason to be, though. My blog sucks. :)

Anonymous said...

I think I'm in love with you.

Thank you times a billion for coming by and commenting on my blog. I'm going to go add that to my list of reasons why I am HOT SHIT. I keep it handy in case my husband ever forgets. ;)

Anonymous said...

Very interesting comments you have today. I thought you and Nicole might come to fist-a-cuffs. I do love a good cat fight. Can you pull each others hair and rip each others clothes off? Please?

So Tiffany is the one who sent you to me huh? Right on. You must also go read Steenky Bee. I love her. Call her a hooker and she'll love you back.

And I don't fault you for writing this post. It's your blog and you can write whatever you want. I'm sure if you don't like someone else's blog you just leave and read somebody elses. No big whoop. Oh well. You can't please everyone all the time.

Nicole said...

Okay, I pulled the stick out, and I'm wavin' a white flag! I was just trying to point out that we all write for a reason--and though some blogs are pretty pathetic content-wise, that doesn't mean the people behind them are schmucks.

Anonymous said...

holy crap! you all have way to much time on you hands.

binks said...

Damn - my hubby and I were just speaking of this very topic and how when I first started blog stalking all I could find were those saccarin sweet, life is all beautiful, everything is perfect - pile of crap. Thank goodness I found some real, funny, sarcastic biatches to share my bloggy existence with. I wouldn't call you a blog snob, its more a blog connoisseur.

Scary Mommy said...

I think you are awesome, and I'm honored that you come back to read me. I'm adding you to my blog roll so I remember to keep coming back to YOU!

And, I think Tiffany is right- I know I've turned off my fair share of readers with my liberal use of the words "fuck" ad pussy," but that's me. And that's the joy of blogging-- they don't have to read if they don't want to. But I can write, and I will. :)

(and all anonymous commenters are assholes.)

steenky bee said...

Don't listen to Tattooed Minivan Mom. She's a whore and she knows it. Just kidding, listen to her, but she's still a whore. But I loves me a whore.