Monday, December 1, 2008

Holy shit, are we THAT Bitchy??? yep...

[Disclaimer: I would like to thank my sister-in-law for this. Author is anonymous.]
[My husband said he could have wrote this himself.]
(1) "Fine" : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes" : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) "Nothing" : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "fine".

(4) "Go Ahead" : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) "Loud Sigh" : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of "nothing".)

(6) "That's Okay" : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) "Thanks" : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say "You're welcome". (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "You're welcome". This will bring on a "Whatever").

(8) "Whatever" : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it." : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
I think this is hysterical.


Katie said...

Holy shit, you've been hanging out at my house?
For a moment, I thought "poor men", but then I remembered all the stupid moronic stuff they do ON PURPOSE just so that next time, we won't ask them to do it anymore.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

This should be mandatory reading for all men going through martial counseling!

binks said...

This should be a pre-marital requisite.
I love that. My husband doesn't understand when I say whatever. He keeps going on and on and on.
Makes me want to strangle him.