Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Who, ME??? HONEST???

Well, here it is. I'm honored as hell.

I'd like to thank binks at for the honor and recognition of "telling it like it is" in my posts. Trashy mouth, nasty kids, ass of an ex. Yep. Keepin' it real. That's me.

So, as the game goes, if you get an award, you usually have to work for it. Here are the quick [and not-so-painful] rules:

"When you receive the prize, you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

Choose a minimum of 5 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design. [ok, the real rules said 7 but I don't have that many people to torture!! - also I will assume that brilliant = honest/truthful/keepin' it real to match the so called honesty award attached??]

Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing that they were prized with 'Honest Weblog'.

List [if you can and/or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself. Then, pass it on!"

OK, here's who I'm taggin'. Don't hate me, OK??? But I can't help to think that each of you will have yet another list of unbelievable honest confessions that I'm sooooo looking forward to! :
  • Karen at - She makes me feel better about myself because she has a mouth like mine. Her son almost became president, and she knows how to kick ass in a courtroom. She totally keeps it real.
  • Katie at - OK, as if no one knows, I am a loyal fan. Just like Karen, here's another "potty mouth" mom, who literally should write a comedy book of her personal stories. And spiders. With pictures.
  • Dorsey at - This is about as real as it gets. She's a daily click here on my end, and the one thing that keeps me there is literally how real and honest she can be. And her husband wears a cowboy hat.
  • Georgette at - Even though I just learned that I am old enough to be her mom, I still love the way this girl tells her story. I am pulling for her to make some mighty decisions in her life...I feel like I'm reading a book, and look forward to each and every new chapter... plus, she swears way more than I do.
  • Jennifer at - How much more real can it be than putting one of the hardest personal tragedies you might ever face out there in blogland. And while I am not expecting any immediate response right now with all going on, my thought here was to offer some new blogging content for her - just pure distraction for the time being. My heart aches for her as I've been through her most recent personal experience twice myself.

And to follow through on my obligations so I don't feel guilty about posting my award to the left column in the very near future, here's 10 HONEST things I can think of at this very moment:

  • The more I drink, the more I fucking swear. Oops! Shit. Sorry.

  • I think Michael Phelps has the ugliest haircut, and his feet gross me out on his new commercial that's on every 10 minutes. I will admit that boy can swim though. Damn. (Shit, there I go again.)

  • I absolutely LOVE Beyonce. I think she is one of the most beautiful women out there. Seriously. Not that I buy her CDs, or hang life-size posters in my bedroom [though my husband might like that], but I think she is just beautiful. Did I say beautiful?

  • Even though I am 3 weeks away from finding out if I get laid off from a career of 12+ years, I'm kind of excited and hoping it happens. But then I'll literally shit my pants if it does.

  • I have never literally shit my pants, but I have come very, very close and only my husband knows how I avoided this mishap. Only because one night we shared our most private "accidental shit" stories and literally almost laughed to death. And then last month he made me tell his sister and her husband. Oh god. So I guess my husband's not the only one who knows. Shit, I forgot.

  • I am extremely fearful of turning into an old woman that leaves a smell in a bathroom stall upon exiting. You know what I'm talking about, right? Oh please god, let me always be able to keep a clean ass.

  • I married my Dad in 1998.

  • Ok, I didn't LITERALLY marry my dad, but you know how therapy goes, right? I mean, I finally learned that I married my dad when I married my ex-husband years ago, and it took years with an amazing therapist for me to learn how my past affected many personal choices I have made, and years to allow someone as wonderful as my current husband into my life. I'm literally blessed.
  • Even though I've been described as having a "potty mouth", or a "mouth like a sailor", I am probably one of the most risk-averse humans you could meet. Except drinking too much red wine.

  • I still go to my therapist once a month and actually write notes before my appointment to ensure I can make every minute worth while since she's seriously so fucking good. I'm not kidding. She rocks.

  • And I'm just adding a #11 here because I always like to add to the record the fact that I truly do not like, care for, respect, appreciate, tolerate or stand in the least my husband's ex-wife who continues to believe she controls our lives. And I'm petrified she might find this blog since by some accident one of the networking sites I joined months ago somehow turns up on a google search. Fuck.

So, there's my dose of honesty for the day. Oh, and as I'm typing this and spell checking, I might as well add one more honest confession at 6:23am... while many schools are closed at this point while I sit here watching the news, I am PRAYING that my kids have school today even though I'll still most likely use an "inclement weather" day for work, in order to do some shopping, go to the gym, then cook a big pot of chili. GOD, PLEASE LET THERE BE SCHOOL. I'm terrible.

Now for those of you "tagged", let's get to it!


binks said...

You are my hero, because you are brave enough to actually type those words. They come flying out of my mouth in an instant, but somehow, when it gets down to it, my fingers just won't type them.

Ok - now you have piqued everyones interest. The stories WILL have to be told eventually. No one gets out of bloggyland alive.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

I did a double-take on the marrying your dad. Yikes. :)

Dorsey said...

Thank you gal!! And I seriously laughed out loud when you commented about hubby's hat.

I'll sit down tonight and post it for sure. hehe

Katie said...

Oh God, I totally know that smelly old lady, LMAO!! Eww. Please not us.
Thank you so much :) I should have it up hopefully on Monday.

marie6 said...

Well done, you so deserve this award! I love your blog and the way you tell it all!!!

Katie said...

Ok, I swear I'm working on it. How can I have so little time, I don't even have a damn job?