Well, it was bound to happen at some point. And yesterday was the day.
I threw it out there. Big-Time. Right Pitch. Excellent Tone. 100% Fierce Attitude.
Yep, I dropped the "F-Bomb" for the first time to our entire gang of kids. And I feel like an ass.
And then there's my husband who continues to remind me as he laughs out loud that it wasn't just me "throwing out an F-bomb" that was so entertaining and hysterical, but it was the entire scene of watching me storm out of the bathroom at 70mph, screaming:
"I CAN'T EVEN TAKE A FUCKING 1 MINUTE SHIT WITHOUT ALL OF YOU GUYS FIGHTING AND CRYING OVER SOMETHING????"
Reaction was silence. And then giggles from behind me [adoring husband] and giggles in front of me [adoring four children whom I did not love so much yesterday morning] .
So, after fifteen minutes of calming down from everyone making fun of me, I apologized to each of our kids individually for my language.... and my sudden outburst. And they looked at me with no concern in the world before moving on in their day, with only the littlest one of a whopping 5 years whispering quietly yet sternly:
"Sue, you need to take a time out. Five minutes. Seriously."
Fuck. I just remembered the house rules we posted months ago, which include ALL family members... not just the kids. A-D-U-L-T-S too. That was my quote. [What the hell was I thinking to make such a big deal of equality in all the rule presentation bullshit back then? WTF???]
But then it hit me. Time out? As in alone time? By myself with no nagging children crying or bothering me for snacks or juice boxes or refereeing Wii turns or setting 15 minutes segments for each of them on the computer? Are you serious???!!!
I am now planning my next attack. And this time, for a full fledged grounding. All evening. Alone. In my room.
It will be hard to hold back from now on.
I can't wait.