Monday, January 5, 2009

A little piece of Vegas... and the piece of ass X 1000 we saw daily

OK... now to a quick Vegas update.
And one word can pretty much sum it up:

DAMN.

Here's a few questions that we are still pondering from our unbelievable 5 day trip to Sin City:

  • Where do these people come from?
  • When did New Year's [or any other event that requires dress-up] now turn into a "slut" theme for women and girls?
  • Why do people at concerts [actually entire audience members minus two idiots who obviously need better Kid Rock concert mannerism lessons who stood out like sore thumbs] have to stand, sign peace with their hands and jolt their waving arms and body parts as if going into full fledged seizures for 2 hours straight?
  • Why do people have to puke in the middle of hotel lobbies and just stand there staring at it with the inability to excuse themselves to a bathroom?
  • How do people who look and smell like dirty crack addicts sit at $10 tables yet bet $100's of dollars at a time conning decent, moral people to do one fuckin' Goldschlogger shot to the point of intimidation causing permanent throat burnage?
  • When in God's name did my 36D sized boobs which I loathe at times become a staple of "tiny", "unseen", "pancake sized" compared to the actual "NORM" in any one place or city?
  • Why on earth is there always one person at a card table that literally can not stand to have a moment of silence during the 3 hours of black jack 4 other people are trying to enjoy? I mean, seriously why do these people thrive on hearing their jack-ass mouths run dry for days straight??? With nothing but crap and narrative bullshit to say?

And then there would be the Kid Rock concert. Sweet. However, as I hinted to above, if you took an aerial shot of the Casino Theatre you would absolutely be able to immediately pick my husband and I from the 2,000 member crowd. Let's just say I was the only one with maybe half of my body skin covered, wearing a bra under my dress [vs. JUST WEARING A FUCKING BRA OUTRIGHT] and not flailing around like a fucking bird seizing after just bashing into a large bay window full speed ahead. And while of course we did not possess any pot or other illegal substances, we did try to sniff hard while drinking beer after beer and taking pictures of the fans, whom were so entertaining I can't even get into it. For the respect of Kid Rock, I will stop there. Except for a couple of pics.


So this is just a sample of the skin showing at the show. And while she actually looked quite cute and I'm sure her and her date "got something on" later that night, it was the peeking of the SPANX staring at me and my husband that had our undivided attention which then required camera footage. If I actually had Photo Shop you would see a cartoony arrow pointing you to this kind woman's upper thigh area...can you see it NOW???




And here is my man, Kid Rock. I totally don't even know many of the lyrics to his songs, except for some of the chorus lines, but hell, after seeing the fans at this place, I think it's a safer place to be.

Believe Me.


And with that, that's all I'm sayin'.

9 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

a) All over.
b) I'm not sure when that became the appropriate dress-up decor, but I'm not complaining.
c) Inbreeding comes to roost.
d) Yeah, that is pretty rude. You'd think they'd head for a potted plant or something. Personally, I puke in a container whenever possible. Only once in my adult life did I miss, and I was on the way to the sink anyway.
e) I'm not sure I follow, but I'll just blame it on meth.
f) *passes out with a smile on his face*
g) It's not just blackjack tables...they do this anywhere. It's why I can't stand interacting with people. But that's just me.

I'm loathe to stare at that woman's upper thigh area much longer. I might purge my lunch if I did.

I went to a Kid Rock concert back in 2000. Like you, I just went because I'm sort of a fan, but not enough to really know the lyrics. Plus, I was hoping to tag the girl I was with at the time. Surprisingly, it was a far more enjoyable show than I thought it would be going in.

Swirl Girl said...

I.Love.Vegas!

Second to say, Dollywood, it' total reaffirmation that I am indeed a good looking person.

More importantly than than all the puking and Spanxing...didja win?

Tracey said...

Great post. I totally saw the girl's Spanx. Too funny that you were actually able to score a pic!
Vegas, baby. It's people-watching heaven.

libby said...

The same people who visit Vegas seem to be dressed up counterparts to the ones who frequent State Fairs and Carnivals. That's my guess. And then you sprinkle the normal ones in there - like you and your lovely husband - who have come to watch the freak show. They are few and far between though!

Makes for some good times.

: )

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OH my SPANKS on the thighs LOVED it!

So glad you're back...because I was just thinking today how much I missed your sassy comments!

I actually like Kid Rock also...not sure about going to his concerts! lol!

BUt you should have told me you were in SIN city...I would have come to say Hi! :)

Dr Zibbs said...

All I can say is that I wish I were there!

Katie said...

Much to my dismay, I have never been to Vegas. But after reading this, I seriously want to go. Really.

I love that while you didn't have any pot of your own, you took deep breaths at the concert!! These days, taking a deep breath of just the beer would probably have done it for me.

binks said...

Having my first Sin City experience in November, I was laughing my ass off over this.
1) was it crowded? Because, I heard there is a recession going on and Vegas is hurting big time.
2) Have you been living under a rock? The slut thing has been quite popular with the skanks for several years now.
3)Ummmmm, ahemmmm, you WERE at a KID ROCK CONCERT!!! What the heck did you expect? If you wanted peace and decorum, maybe Cher or Elton John.
4) THank God I saw no vomit on the lobby floor. Seeing and/or smelling vomit will make me immediately hurl. Blech!
5) Dirty smelly crack addicts are just trying to parlay their score from robbing hotel rooms into more crack. THe old Goldschlager ploy is to get you so wasted that he can steal your key, rob your room, and be back at the table before anyone suspects. Did he take a lot of "bathroom" breaks?
6)Again, you must live in a small town, DDD or EEE boobs are quite the norm these days.
7)I really think those "talkers" are casino plants. They are there to annoy and distract you from making good betting choices and using common sense.
8)The spankx are the least of this girls worries. No arrow necessary, I spotted them right away. I am not too far from that size and no way in hell would I attempt that get up.

This comment was total bullshit and will self destruct in 30 seconds.....

binks said...

Susan - I am glad you are back. Where else can I get my daily dose of the F bomb?