Note: NO...this is NOT a guest posting today.
It's me, and yes, I'm back from Vegas, with no mention of it today,
and not one swear word.
But this one's for my girls.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Dear Samantha & Sydney,
I can not explain the feelings that I have this evening, since being away from you both for 9 days straight. I know you were with your Daddy, and I should find some comfort in that, as you don't get to spend that much time with him due to his schedule and location. Of course that is why I never say "no" to him for any extra time he's willing to spend with you. You totally deserve a daddy that is there so much more. But that's not why I'm writing today.
I need to put down somewhere how absolutely beautiful and precious you are to me. In this very moment. Right now. I can still feel your happiness to be back home, and I can still feel your smiles and your pure love you are so generous with on days like today, when you're transitioning from a visit so much longer than a typical "every other weekend". And I know just how much you absolutely love and adore your Daddy, and that is why I will do whatever is in my power to help aid that special relationship. I always promise this to you.
It's a new year, and while I was looking forward to some down time tonight with all the elements I'm facing right now - Mark out of town on an FBI bomb field for a week, facing the ill fate with work tomorrow when the decision of whether I have a job or not comes as I was told to sit by my phone for the day, being obsessed with the content of my 100th post [which is this actual post I type right now], memories of an unbelievable trip to Las Vegas that are infested with anger at your dad for whisking you off to Disney this same week, without any prior notice, knowing I hoped to take you there in February or April - and with even all of this, the only thing I can think of at this very moment is how wonderful and special and unbelievably lucky my life is because I have the both of you. It's so simple.
So to you both, I hope this year allows me with all going on in our lives to continue to be the mother you deserve. I hope I can always guide you appropriately, provide for you as we have, teach you and laugh with you... and I hope I can continue to make you laugh as well. As I say to you over and over, it's hard being a good mommy, but that is my job. I'm not here to be your friend, but to teach you and raise you to be a kind person and treat others well. That's it basically. And I'm so thankful for days like this, which make it so obvious to me that being your mommy is the best and most honored privilege I could ever have.
So with that, I want to say thank you for the girls that you both are. So different, yet so similar, and so, so, so beautiful.
All my love,