Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Nothing's sacred anymore...not even blonde beaver

So today was the day my husband and I decided to evaluate all our monthly bills, trying to see where we could cut a little spending so our budget's all tightened up over the next few months.

We looked at cell phones, made plans to cut the cleaners, and next on the list was analyzing our brutal monthly cable/digital phone/roadrunner bill with Time Warner Cable.
Here's the itemized page I normally fax in to my company for Internet reimbursement. I dialed the local Time Warner office, and an eagerly awaiting male representative named "Jay" took my call...



As my eyes scrolled down the bill, taking each line in one-by-one to see where I could stir up some possible savings, I suddenly stopped here:


"No Customer Service Representative Jay, we were NOT watching that new documentary on the mysterious African Blond Beaver five days before Christmas, you know, that very religious holiday where most people are in the midst of celebrating the significance of the birth of Jesus? And I am totally content with my bill and service and just wanted to call to let you know how well you do your job. Thank you very much for all you do."

Click.

God damn computerized billing.

Readers beware: the next time you have no children at home and have the opportunity to fondle your partner while educating yourselves on 24/7 Blond Beaver, DO NOT think this will be done in private. Nothing is sacred any more.

[And by the way, the whole notion of a true "Blond" beaver is still to be determined.]

8 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Wow. Your TWC cable bill is cheaper than my TWC cable bill. And I don't have any blonde beav bills to show for it.

We just usually download something off the net if we want to get frisky like that.

Doublebanker said...

A couple months back, I called TWC to cancel my service and switch to dish. They offered me a 2 yr contract that would reduce my bill from $160ish to $120!! Check out my blog post last month here!

moooooog35 said...

Shit like this is exactly why I pay the bills before my wife looks at them.

She'd freak..you know..cuz it's..um...so expensive and shit.

Swirl Girl said...

Hubby watches porn and PAYS for it when I am away...not that I mind him watching porn, mind you. I mind that he PAYS for it! We have a large assortment of free porn around the house and the internet - so why rent a movie?? And that it is 'yours' for a whole 24 hours when all you really need is a few minutes before the 'happy ending' if you know what I mean. $9.95 to jerk off?? Really.

binks said...

Shit, I wish my bill was that reasonable.

Hmmmm.... very interesting name for a documentary.

I thought those documentaries were more like bald beavers or something.... not that I would know, of course.

Dorsey said...

This would be PART of the reason we no longer have cable! Yep, we're rabbit-eared people. With a 13 yr old in the house there might be some late night "movie selections" going on that I would not approve of, Jeez kid, just sneak a DVD out of our room!! ha!

Katie said...

They should have sent that bill wrapped in a plain brown paper package.

The Momma Ritz said...

OMG You are too funny...
Think the operator's face flushed red??!!