Oh NO You Didn't!

This morning during one of the typical "sisterly arguments" I endure among my girls on school mornings, usually during the last ten minutes of my "GET YOUR ASSES IN THE CAR NOW" speech, my 9 year old "accidentally" bumped my 6 year old out of the mirror while trying to rearrange her ponytail before school for the 27th time.

And as usual, the 6 year old pushed back.


And then IT happened.


The inevitable pinch.


I am not sure how or when this "pinching stage" actually started, but my soon-to-be-9-year-old has emerged as the "World's Best Sister Pincher", to the point of drawing blood, and causing way too many shed tears in this household.

So in the midst of sternly being told that Nintendo DS, Wii and computer privileges would be taken away now for 2 days, my daughter basically looked at me while standing on our TV room couch and did this:

OK, in all honesty, it was much worse. That kid looked at me and screamed from the top of her straight A, pefectionistic, yet still can be a bitch if I want to 60 pound frame:

"I didn't FUCKING pinch her!"

silence......

more silence.....

[thought to self] Oh NO YOU DIDN'T!

For the record, and as hard as it may seem to believe, I do not use my blogging language at home in front of my children. Actually, I believe the first time I even threw an accidental "F" bomb out in front of my own mother was at the age of 33 or so, while I was going through the nastiest times of my divorce.

And in that very same moment, I couldn't apologize quick enough. What utter disrespect to speak in front of a parent like that. And to speak TO that parent directly with such language? I remember hearing my dad say "F_#*" for the first time ever when I was in my late 20's. I was shocked. I never heard it again. I still remember it vividly.

I.am.pissed.off.royally.to.no.end.

So, this morning we are in the midst of developing the worse case of whoop ass grounding one has ever heard of. "Punishment" is too kind of a word. I have removed many items from her future room of "grounding". All electronic games and equipment are now gone. And we are creating a written assignment for her which if not completed and done with sincerity will only continue her weekend of torture into next week. Possibly next year.

And then I googled "creative ways to punish a child".

Any thoughts on whether you think this would work with a soon to be 9 year old?

I'm thinking this is brilliant.
With the addition of 5 dart guns for the rest of us.
Goodbye Wii.
Hello pure family entertainment.

My Dearest Samantha,

Don't mess with me girl.
You are in deep shit.

Seriously.