Thursday, January 29, 2009

WARNING: Santa and Wine Do NOT Mix

Well, if you've followed me long enough, you know that while I love to laugh with [AT] other people sometimes, I only allow myself to do this if I make fun of myself [or my absolutely insane family] just the same.
Unfortunately, this has become a little too easy for me these days. But for those of you who think I'm an awful human being to post about my husband's hobby of photographing a gross cushion that's been hanging over the front porch of his ex-wife's house for over 5 months now [we are entering 3rd season here people], I feel guilty enough about it to share the following pictures with you for personal retribution.

I know Christmas is over, but while cleaning out my home office bench which of course opens up for accessible storage [CLUTTER] , I found the letter my oldest daughter left for Santa on the fireplace mantle just this past Christmas Eve. As a warning, I would like to describe it to you in one simple word:


Here it is:

OK, several points I would like to make:

1. Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday. My house is painted in dark reds, rustic oranges, and deep forest greens because I love the feel of my home decorated from the time Halloween approaches, through Fall and then into and beyond Christmas.
2. The poor writer of the above note was so rushed to bed that night that she grabbed a pharmaceutical pad to write her beloved Santa letter asking if this was the year she would be receiving the dog she's wanted since she was 7 days old.
3. I take the time to customize photo collage customized Christmas cards by the end of October each year, yet I can not provide my daughter a white piece of paper or better yet a piece of holiday stationery for her personal Dear Santa letter?
4. Santa's response is just out right shabby. Better yet, it's nothing other than GHETTO. Take a better look:

Santa somehow thought it was amusing [or was running late and drank just a little too much wine that night...okay, WAY TOO MUCH WINE that night] to have any empathy for the little girl sleeping upstairs hoping and praying for a puppy that would never be. And all he could do was circle "NO" and write "Work harder at home."

I'm going to have to open a can of whoop ass if I ever meet Santa face to face. How dare he.

PS...I'll be keeping these forever.

Now head on over to Candid Carrie's to check out, or better yet join in, on Foto Friday!


Swirl Girl said...

let their be whoop ass all around the blogosphere today!

at least Santa didn't tell her she was naughty.

Doublebanker said...

Not really ghetto...maybe a little trailer-y :)

2x motorcycle flip gif post

Anonymous said...

Dude! I love to laugh AT (with) other people!

ESPECIALLY when you mix in a little wine.

libby said...

Dear Santa:

You owe me a new computer keyboard and monitor. I just ruined mine by spitting coffee reading the hysterical/caught me off-guard note you left for that 7 year old girl this Christmas about her puppy. Please bring pronto. I can't work without it.


memo to self: do not read "life is too short..." blog with any handy beverage in mouth.

Missy said...

That is hilarious! I remember begging for a dog every year too!

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Visit again!

Outnumbered2to1 said...

That was awesome. that needs to be framed, wrapped and gifted at a future monumental event, aka, wedding.

moooooog35 said...


Santa's a dick.

Stacie said...

at least Santa was honest. ;)

ok, your letter shall be...



good luck

Wizard Cat said...

I think Santa was too excited to get home and watch movies featuring the words "Blond" and "Beav" in the title.

Susie said...

I might be worse. My daughter asked Santa for a pet and she got a Webkinz:-)

The Momma Ritz said...

LOL ... oh my -- too darn funny!! Be sure to save that for when she has a little girl one day!

Thanks for stopping by my blog.. we share a fond (okay, very fond) appreciation of red wine. Some of readers have called me a lush before as I swoon about my almost nightly glass(es) of red wine! :)

Nice to meet you!!

:) Amy (aka, MommaRitz)

Tracey said...

That looks like the notes I used to write to Santa when I was a little one.
Funny, it looks kind of like the same response I used to get too!

Katie said...

Work harder at home! That's ruthless.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

Ha! Gotta love Santa.