Ready Or Not...

After a little hiatus (aka dragged out of state for a 24/7 work meeting) this week, I am welcoming the opportunity to sit at my keyboard. It's been a challenging week. An old best friend lost her father, after just losing her mother last year. I sit and bitch about the tiniest things in life, things that now this week seem so trivial, while several states away this beautiful human being has endured such realities I couldn't begin to imagine. And I ask myself over and over, what is the lesson and gem that will come out of her experiences these past couple of years that will change her for the better? There will be lessons. And she will be better, if at all possible.

Yesterday, another best friend who just relocated half way across the country with her company of 7+ years lost her job. Same industry as me. Solid employee, proven performance. These things unfortunately don't matter all too much these days. The text came around 9:45am:

"Just lost my job."

When we got the chance to talk later that day, her response was something that has stuck with me:

"I was prepared, but I wasn't prepared."
"I was ready, but I wasn't ready."
"I thought it would happen, but I didn't think it would happen."

How true this is about so many things in life. How often do we live each day, knowing what fate will most likely bring, but do nothing at all to possibly prevent it or in the very least, better prepare for it. Divorce. Family issues. Work. Health. Personal Goals. So many things.

So, today for at least a few moments this morning, I am making a promise to myself to prepare for fate. At least a little bit better. Recognizing it probably would be a first step. Here's a couple of obvious ones:

Fate that my ex-husband or husband's ex-wife will most likely NEVER change. Why am I not changing my own actions to come to this realization? Instead, I bang my head against a wall day after day, week after week, causing angst to myself and to my husband trying to be nice and trying to rationalize behavior by people I have now learned through therapy, friends and family is just not possible.

Fate that my own career carries a huge question mark over it...the first true threat of it's kind since I started over 12 years ago. Am I sitting here ready for it, or am I really not ready? Have I convinced myself by saying I am envious of others who have received 6 month packages after losing their own positions, or am I fooling myself?

I think I'm prepared to look at these issues with more truth starting today.

And then again, maybe I'm not.